“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things”. -Winston Churchill
Have you ever accepted criticism, or let alone appreciate it?
I have thought to myself, have I ever in a million years acknowledged any of it without my lips pursing? When criticism hits you, you become so furious that you want to pluck out the eye of the critic.
“Who are they to condemn and throw shade at me?” I find myself thinking.
“You have poor English, did the English class burn down in your school?”
“Your hairstyle sucks”
“The food you prepared is very bad, you need cooking lessons!”
“You can’t sing to save your life, period”
If you watch ‘Idols’ you may have heard how the judges ‘criticize, how they tear down flimsy contestants. Well, some consent to criticism as a way of improvement. I, myself on the other hand, have hard time dealing with criticism. Most times. I don’t want bad news, I don’t want a panel of adjudicators of what I do, and only want the best news. Like. “Girl, you look good”, “What a good piece of writing” etc…
Mostly one find one’s self in a situation like mine as I just explained: A zone of “NO CRITICISM, ONLY GOOD VIBES”
Somehow somewhere there is somebody ready to throw you off the cliff, ready to throw all kind of shade and even more ready to criticize you for what you do or simply what you are. You are not perfect, and you know that some of your friends will sugar-coat their sayings just because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.
Now here is the reality. You are going to be criticised anyhow, anywhere, everywhere. Critics will follow you every part of your life. Some people just don’t like you, just because you are you, or MAYBE because you are better than them in something. They are going to slate you, and they are going to spread the word of your criticism to the world and they will try to harm you either way.
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” – Winston Churchill
However, not everyone that criticize you is your enemy. Sometimes your hairstyle really sucks and somebody is bound to say something. Sometimes your writing isn’t as good as you thought, somebody has to say it. Life isn’t supposed to revolve around you in good times alone, but also it centre’s on you when you make mistakes, often even without realizing that you have.
Keep in mind that not all criticism is negative criticism after all. So why are you still mad because that boy said he doesn’t like your sense of style or the logic of your reasoning?
Even if you stay mad, they are bound to put you on the chopping board and go on telling you what they do not like. But you make a plan, and think wisely as you re-evaluate your position, they are going to stop sometime and come someone else to target. Only if you learn to accept all types of criticism; the bad, the worst and the best.
To me criticism is advice. I know haters don’t give advice but in criticism, they just handed you the best advice on a silver platter. And you are entitled to take that advice and do some maths with it. So your lecturer doesn’t like your research proposal? She said it sucked? Note that she is not jealous. How best can you do it better next time? Ask yourself how a different version of the proposal will be like. You don’t need to let go and vent your spleen!
“The people who accepts criticism the best are the ones who are genuinely interested in self-improvement.” -David Luther
Criticism is an eye opener. It gives you another chance to correct what went wrong. You search for other alternatives on how best you can handle your activities. So he said you can’t sing right? How about other alternatives?
“Can you perhaps dance to music since you can’t sing”?
“Can you compose songs since you breathe music?”
Just look at other alternatives. Get mad (it’s perfectly normal), get over it and think. And when you cannot think of any further relevant solutions, ask your friends, they sure will help you.
What cannot kill you makes you stronger. Criticism builds you. Sometimes you don’t have to change your way of speaking because one person disapproves. That’s a hater and a bully. Don’t change yourself for him. He has his own life to worry about. Brush it off and smile. You will beat the hater at his own game. Don’t stay mad if you want your power and your voice.
Take it on the chin, it’s part of life.