Around every 10 seconds, a woman is either assaulted, beaten or mistreated somewhere in the world.
And before she reports the abuse a woman will on average have been abused at least 35 times and 1 in 7 of abuse victims are men and your chance of suffering abuse is higher if you are an elder, have a disability or belong to a group perceived as being different in any way.
One unfortunate evening, I couldn’t l help but witness a couple arguing on the pavement as I was taking a walk in the new location I have moved to, we’ll, what could I have done? Pass by on the other side of the road?
This young helpless woman had been beaten and left along the road. A brutal, drunken man had left the poor woman by the roadside… I knew that I had to help this lady. I watch the poor lady as she attempted to move and pick herself up, she smiles and tells me she’s fine. I knew she wasn’t, her face has been bruised, she couldn’t walk properly and she needed medical attention.
What are the chances of other women being in that woman’s shoes? Sadly, the chances are too high. In Namibia today it is known that most women experiencing abuse never speak up. Why is this?
Some of us know it is a sad fact that domestic violence is now an accepted feature of modern society. But who wants to be part of such a society where one can get one’s way by the threat of actual use of verbal, physical or sexual violence.?
The root causes may in theory lie within the imbalance of power between the sexes but in reality is the presence of violence a function of power, of the abuse of power, or merely the absence of the power to control ones self when basic impulses begin to get out of control?
The drunken man unaccustomed to not being obeyed and unable to deal with his partner’s own behavior resorts to his default behavior and he beats her up because that is all be knows in his violent life, that was how his father dealt with his wife and probably how all the other significant men in his life behaved, in other words violence is seen as normal and expected, the way a man has to be order to be a man.
But the impact of all violence is both dramatic and pervasive. Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped in a water pool, violence bring major challenges at personal, family and community levels. So don’t be surprised when the brute within us produces a brutal society in a very brutish world.
So, what can we do, accept this evil? Or can we overcome it somehow?
Why stay silent when abuse has crippled you?
What do you say to your children, your family when you’re so helpless?
Why do you protect him when he abuses you, verbally, sexualy, physically and emotionally?
Talking about it is hard, but necessary.
Opening up is the key, bad men never win this cowardly battle. What we say as women, what we do about it matters. As mothers, role models and daughters, we do not deserve this slavery! Shielding men stunts our growth, and unchecked abuse leads only to further degradation of family and society. It may look like a cliché, but we can either be a part of the solution or complicit in the proliferation of abuse itself.
We have freedom of speech; let us be brave and point it out to expose these wrongs for a better tomorrow.
A woman must not accept, she must challenge. She must be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman within her which struggles for expression. Woman is made in God’s image too, let’s stand up for Godliness and against this sin within us all.
With support from our close ones we can lessen the impact of domestic violence. Although we can’t take away the initial pain, we can avoid the future pain by equipping people to emerge from being mute about traumatic experiences. This can be by finding supportive groups and mentors to talk to. And we can train up our children to be gentle and loving people and to deal effectively with abusive behaviour… but talking is never enough, nor can it ever be.
There is no need to be pained by abusive men and women who do not value us. The misguided belief that he loves you if he beats you is ironic. I know that from every one abuse there are at least 5 people affected. These people interact with at least 5 others, although the impact is thinned, it’s still there. These heartfelt headlines are taken as entertainment by society, the public is often quick to gawp at the at the spectacle of a man beating his woman, quickly grabbing the phone to film the outrage instead of calling the law enforcers or even intervening to rescue the poor victim. How discouraging is today’s nation? Namibia! What kind of nation are we? What kind of people have we become?!
Don’t play his game, play yours! Don’t let him manipulate you, speak up, report him! DO SOMETHING!
You have a right to be protected from domestic violence. Protect your life; protect your family and loved ones. Sometimes it’s difficult to realize our own prejudices and own up to their existence. Admitting there’s a problem is the first step to recovery. If you believe a woman needs a good beating or enjoys being raped maybe there’s something wrong with you, my friend?
Let’s spread the understanding that women and men have equal value under the law of this land and of this nation we love.
Let’s make sure we report this evil that been done behind closed doors, expose sin for wickedness triumphs when good men stand by and do nothing as a man once said.
Let’s do it now and for the future,
Let’s stand against domestic violence!
©Lady Twiiti 2017